Lockpicking (Hobbies 3)

I fell into the LockPickingLawyer rabbit hole the way everyone falls into the LockPickingLawyer rabbit hole: one short, then like 100+ shorts, then I had to disable YouTube shorts for my own sake.

If you haven't seen his content, he introduces a lock then he picks the lock. There's rarely a sponsor message or a lengthy introduction. He is the most talented lockpicker I have ever seen -- hundreds of locks, opened in seconds.

Essential Gear

Sticking with the theme of this series, I tried to spend as little as possible up front.

The F-ing New Guy (FNG) Kit — $12 at Covert Instruments

This is LPL's company. It comes with a clear demo lock, a rake, a pick, and a tensioning tool. One note: the demo lock is NOT a practice lock. It exists to show you how a lock works and practice getting a feel for moving the pins and tensioning the cylinder.

The Cheapest Masterlock at Lowe's — ~$8

If you already have a spare lock, you can skip this.

My Total: ~$20

Where to Start

I didn't watch a tutorial before starting, but I had already passively absorbed 100+ LPL shorts. There is no shortage of quick tutorials on YouTube for beginners.

For me, I just started with the clear demo lock and played around. Being able to see the pins move while feeling them move is the entire point -- you're building your mental model of the thing that real locks obfuscate.

Once I had a feel for it, I went to Lowe's and bought the cheapest Masterlock on the shelf. I went back and forth between the real lock and the demo lock a few times, trying to get the feel for setting pins sequentially. It also took me some time to understand how much tension I should be applying to the cylinder. You need to find a balance between too little, which will allow pins to just drop down, and too much, which will make it too challenging to push pins up into their set position.

Fifteen or twenty minutes in -- CLICK. It's so satisfying. Not speaking from experience, but I'd imagine it's the same part of your brain that lights up when a Rubik's cube gets solved.

Thoughts / Impressions / Reflections

Brain + Mood Check

Whittling was meditation. I didn't feel quite the same vibe. This is more like a puzzle. It really reminds me of a Rubik's cube or one of those little handheld unscramblers. It is also a fabulous fidget item. I was working fully remote at the time and spent a lot of my day on the couch on calls. A padlock is a nice, weighty thing to hold. And because lockpicking is entirely tactile, I could do it with my eyes closed. That's not a flex. It's just that there is just nothing to look at. You're feeling for tension and feeling the cylinder give as each pin sets.

The Cons

• The side-eye: When you tell people you're learning to pick locks, the response is a pause, a look, and a hesitant "...why?" And then I impulsively say something like "it's not for anything creepy!!" which is a great way to demonstrate you're not a creepy burgler.

• It gets expensive: The picks are cheap, but locks are not. I also found that that after "defeating" a lock, it just sat there. There are practice locks that allow you to change up the pins so you can reuse the lock.

What I Actually Got Out of It

First, I learned how locks work. I no longer thoughtlessly shove a key into a cylinder and flip if it doesn't fit. I can look at the keyway and tell which side the pins are on.

Second, I tried to pick my own deadbolt and failed. I suppose that's bittersweet, but I do rest easier knowing that all my stuff isn't guarded by a 15-second pick.

Last, and to that point, I learned exactly how flimsy a cheap Masterlock is. My best time on that Lowe's lock is somewhere around 10-15 seconds. Later I took a look around my parents' old storage facility and saw that exact same terrible lock "securing" dozens of units. I feel like I know what to look for next time I need to lock something up.

Next Steps

This one stuck for a few months. I'm on pause at the moment because I passed my tools along to my uncle, but I'd pick it back up happily.

It's cheap, it's a perpetually renewable puzzle, and it might conceivably come in handy someday.

If You're Thinking About Trying It

Don't pick locks you don't own. Neighbors will question you if you're crouched at your own front door for twenty minutes with a tension wrench. Otherwise: twenty bucks, no space required, no mess, no cleanup, and a puzzle! Would recommend.